Tibjarno, God Of Farts
by LOLnotes
Summary: What up. People call me gross. People call me disgusting. But I can burp louder that you, and fart louder than you. But I'm Jane Tibbenson, and I'm the daughter of Tibjarno. Who's Tibjarno you ask? You'll find out… Oneshot, JANE SUICIDE IS INCLUDED, but this has fart jokes in it so it doesn't count.


What up. People call me gross. People call me disgusting. But I can burp louder that you, and fart louder than you.

But I'm Jane Tibbenson, and I'm the daughter of Tibjarno. Who's Tibjarno you ask? You'll find out… Oneshot, JANE SUICIDE IS INCLUDED, but this has fart jokes in it so it doesn't count.

It was a normal day at camp. I was crashing in the Hermes Cabin because nobody had ever heard of Tibjarno. All I remember from my dream is some person sitting on a toilet told me, "By the way Jane, you're a daughter of Tibjarno."

I hate my life. Nobody even goes to the Hermes Cabin because they aren't claimed anymore. I'm different. And nobody likes somebody different. Except for Olivia. She's a daughter of Aphrodite, and she's the best friend that I've made at this camp so far. She's helped me do all the research she can on this so called 'Tibjarno' but we've come up with nothing. Every campfire I pray to Zeus that Tibjarno will claim me. I feel like crying every night. Can he please like, show up in my dream or something? I came to the campfire like usual. Chiron lead us in song. At the very end, I farted. It was smelly and loud!

I burped, it was also smelly and loud! Then I puked on the campfire. I felt sick. I ran to the bathroom and took the biggest crap in history. This was killing me. I also peed for like, 8 minutes straight! I was farting so loud it was annoying me. I started to get sweaty. I ran back to the campfire. Something glowed above me. It was a… Piece of crap. A sweaty bald man, who was fat, shirtless with a hairy chest, and was wearing Harry Potter style glasses appeared and greeted us. He was wearing brown corduroy pants, and he reeked of belches, farts, barf, you name it. He was sweating a lot, and he had a tattoo of a piece of crap on his chest.

"Hello there. Most of you may not have heard of me, but I am… TIBJARNO!" everyone was holding their noses, and waving the air in front of them away. "I am the god of… Puberty, sweat, body odor, pimples warts freckles moles, pee, poop, farts, barf, and burps. Most have forgotten about me because… As Aphrodite said, ' Really Jarny, who would WANT to remember you! You're everything gross and unlikable about life!' It was a little cruel but the truth…" he said, with a depressed look on his face. "I don't have very many demigod children because… As Aphrodite said, 'Reallly Jarny, who would WANT to even DATE you! You smell, you're ugly, and you… Well you reek of Godly Farts.' Trust me, they don't smell good kids." he said, thinking about his unlucky love life. He was lucky to even have gotten my mom. But really, she was the blonde girl version of him. Not pretty. Or febreze scented. In fact the opposite.

Great. I think my popularity just plummeted into the depths of Tartarus.

"But yeah, this is my kid, Jane. I wanted to name her Jarn, but your mother and I compromised."

He said. I looked down in shame.

3RD PERSON POV

After Tibjarno finished his sentence, Jane plunged into the campfire in shame, wanting to be erased from this cruel world that had made her the daughter of Tibjarno. Tibjarno cried that night. "WHY CAN'T I JUST HAVE ONE DEMIGOD CHILD, JUST ONE, THAT DOESN'T COMMIT SUICIDE? WHY?" He screamed into the night. As Aphrodite had said, "Really, if you found out that you were the Daughter of the freaking FART god, why wouldn't you commit suicide?"

Aphrodite's cruel words floated in Tibjarno's mind. He had been kicked out of Olympus because he was so smelly. He used to be one of the major gods, but once Aphrodite joined, she demanded he be kicked out and erased from the records. She had used her powerful charmspeak on Zeus, and he had ruined Tibjarno's life. He sat on a bench in Central Park. He had put on a sweatshirt and had changed his jeans to sweatpants. Classic Tibjarno.

Eros shot an arrow at a girl sitting next to Tibjarno on the bench.

"After all the suffering I have caused him, Tibjarno deserves love." Aphrodite had told Eros. "Go shoot a beautiful girl and give Tibjarno a chance. On the inside, he really has a wonderful personality. And make sure she isn't annoying either. I have a feeling whoever Tibjarno ends up with will become immortal, and they will be in love forever."


End file.
